What is Love

Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern 

for the good of another".

Love may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.

Love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, to the platonic love that defines friendship, or to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love, or to a concept of love that encompasses all of those feelings. 

This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states.

Caring attitude for others is also part of love,and when you buy or gift someone dear to you,earn respect and love for you in their heart. 

Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.

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Are Relationships Materialistic

While reading to one of the email,  i got from one of my follower saying that, Are Relationships Materialistic?
And i still find it hard to answer, please do tell me  what should i say?

Here is my point of view to this question:

To some extent it is true, because people around us, makes us believe that the relationships are materialistic. But we cannot held responsible them completely for that, they could have done this because they were stuck in some situation or circumstances made them to do so.

There is one great example of your mom you can take,when your were little kid, and used to whisper on the bed, your mom always put your on the dry side of the bed, and herself slept on the wet side of the bed. And when she heard you crying for something, she leaves behind all her important work to make you feel happy.

What makes us feel like Relationships are Materialistic, when we look for materialistic things around us, which can be bought with money, or a person can buy that for us. So these things are Materialistic (maya) not the relationships.

All this illusion is created by mind.You might think i am a CrazyEgg. What mind has to do with all this? let me tell you that, soul has nothing to do with this world, because that is the part of that almighty and has to merge with that. So mind demand for the things, which are really are Materialistic, and when we does not get these things, we start blaming others. I must say expectations are the main cause of dissatisfaction, and it leads to hatred, which makes us believe that Relationships are Materialistic.

How To Make Valentine Day Special For Your Sweetheart

Each year, lots of men I know cringe with the approach of Valentine's Day. They wonder just what it is that will make the day special for their partners and how they can best communicate love. And we all know that the wrong thing given to a sweetheart can be worse than giving nothing at all.

Listen To Her/Him 

There is nothing that communicates love than a willingness to listen to your partner. I read a book once and came to know the fact, that women in general have a built-in need to communicate about three times as much as men in general. There are certainly exceptions to this rule, but I believe the general trend is true. Giving your partner quality listening time, and then really listening to her with a goal of understanding, is a much appreciated gift.

Figure Out Her "Love Language"

love language means, you need to share the quality time with your partner, and make her feel the warmth of your love with physical touch. You can also express words of affirmation.You should not forget receiving and giving gifts to each other. And the most important thing, you should do is to perform the act of service to each other. All these things can make you sure that your partner cares for you and really loves you. Because most of our wives and girlfriends appreciate a chance to be pampered a little. 

 Find her favorite fragrance.

If you know your partner's favorite perfume and it's one you like as well, this can be great gift. A memorable Valentine's Day gift can be one that recalls favorite memories from your partner's past or from your history as lovers. Consider: 

Post the Pics.

Most framing or photography stores will have picture collage frames where you can put favorite photos into mats. Dig through the pictures at home and build a photo collage of favorite memories.  

MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN AND HELD ON EARTH

In today's time most of the boys and girls are thinking that why one should get married? And they do question most of the time,are marriages really made in heaven.So let me explain few things why these
question do come in their mind. Here are my thoughts, and you might want to buy it or not that's all up to you.

Soul Connection:
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In some of the spiritual books you could read that we are bound by our karma's, and that is the main reason we are here on this earth. And Spiritual preachers do claim giving the example that, why did you not born in a family of some  billionaire. Because your karma's are associated with this life. On the other hand, many people or spiritual preacher do completely deny this thing, because they do not believe in re-incarnation. So this soul connection is a kind of theory of relativity. If you believe in re-incarnation then you can buy this,otherwise you would also deny. And if you go by the theory or belief of re-incarnation there are many of the examples, which could make you believe in all of this. You can take a example of a man who has 5 girlfriends, but he decided to get married to the only one why? Because it might be possible during their last incarnation they were also husband and wife.

Karmic connection : 
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There is a very good example of karmic connection like, who do parents earn for?  And the answer is for their children. And you must aware of the fact parents are working day and night just for the good future and well being of their children, so we do spent most of the part of our earning on the education and on other things. And for us nothing is more important other than their happiness. But at the end of the day they do leave us when get's matured, or do get settled with their families.This example could teach us to a great extent that we humans are bound to each other with our karma's. Let me put light on this example,suppose those ,who are children in this lifetime were parents in the past life, and they made their parent's spent that much of amount on them, so they had get rid of that loan. And the same thing applies to relationships or marriages.

Destiny:
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Till the we are not merged with almighty, and has become one we will have to be born again and again. And Jesus Christ has said "Those who are born of spirit will be born as spirit and those who are born of flesh will be born as flesh". And it clearly gives us the message until or unless we have paid-off our karma's in this human from of life we would not be able to attain salvation. We will have to be born again and again in the form of flesh means, one body made of flesh to another body made of flesh. And the lucky are humans who have awakened their soul and are in love with that almighty. Because their karma's will be taken care of him. And till the time, you are not merged with that almighty, you will have to be born again and again. And your destiny would be decided prior to birth. I would say your partner, parents,friends and everything is predetermined as per your karma's.

Thanks//Rajeev

How to know if you’re in love ( falling for someone )

They say that when you meet the one you just know. Yet they also told us that a certain jolly man who wears a red suit was real and they sure got that wrong. So, we’re almost certain that if they can be mistaken about that, then they can be wrong about instantly knowing if you’re in love with the one. Here we show you seven signs that you are head over heels in love, so that you can know for sure if it’s love or if it’s just lust.

Crazy in love
Well, Beyoncé sure got it right when she released Crazy In Love. It turns out that when we fall for someone our brain actually behaves similarly to how it would if we had a mental illness. This deranged state is thought to be caused by one of the most important chemicals in love; serotonin.
Although serotonin affects us all in different ways, a study undertaken in 1990 by an Italian researcher found that those people who had recently fallen for someone showed symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Order. Maybe Romeo and Juliet would have behaved differently if they’d have known that their feelings were just a chemical reaction?
You become a vampire
For those of us who are not crazy in love with a new guy or girl, when the alarm goes off we get up after enjoying at least six hours sleep and grab some breakfast. We will then go on to tuck into another two meals during the day before heading back to bed at night. Yet if you’re in a new relationship you may not be doing these everyday things. Instead you seem to be becoming more and more like a vampire. You have lost your appetite and you don’t seem to sleep much anymore. If you don’t sleep or eat then it’s a clear sign you've fallen for someone. We’re sure all of the twilight fans are excited about this news.

Nothing gets you down

So you lost out on a promotion at work and you just found out your two best friends are leaving to go travelling for a year on the other side of the world without you; how do you feel? If you’re surprisingly upbeat then it’s a sure sign you’re in love. Researchers have found that when we fall in love the prefrontal cortex in our brains, which is associated with negative emotions, becomes deactivated. At the same time other areas associated with pleasure and joy become active. This means that things that would normally get you down don’t seem to affect you too much.They seem perfect
Do you think that your new guy or girl is absolutely perfect? Do you think they’re absolutely perfect even though they eat with their mouth open, have an abnormal amount of body hair and have an unhealthy obsession with country music? If you still love them despite quirks that would typically drive you wild, then it’s a sign you've fallen in love. Studies suggest that the area of our brain that handles our social judgement deactivates when we fall in love. This effect of love is thought to last for up to two and half years, which is quite incredible. Amazingly it is thought that by disabling this area of our brain we are able to build stable relationships, which in turn aids our abilities to raise kids.
You feel like a teenager
We all remember feeling clammy handed when we talked to a boy or girl who we liked when we were teenagers. Yet we’re grownups now, so surely we’re too old to be feeling like that? Well, don’t be so sure. If those teenage nerves and feelings seem to be flooding back with vengeance whenever you see or speak to your new partner then it’s a sign you’re madly in love. When we fall for someone our nor epinephrine levels shoot up and this chemical is what makes our hearts race and our hands sweat. You forgot your birthday
Who could forget their own birthday? The answer: someone in love. If you can’t think of anyone or anything else other than your new guy or girl then we’re happy to tell you you’re in love. Be warned though, thinking of nothing else other than your new love has some hazards. For example, be careful not to doodle your new partner’s name on your notepad whilst in a very important meeting or accidentally call your boss your new partner’s name. Who knew love could land you in so much trouble?


You’re blind
Everyone knows the phrase love is blind, but there is in fact some truth in these words. Experts have found that people who have recently fallen in love tend to not feel attracted to other people. So, the hot colleague you've always flirted with when you've met one another in the stationary cupboard may suddenly hold no interest for you anymore. It is thought that our inability to see anyone else as attractive other than our new love interest stems from our increased levels of dopa mine which has been associated with our ability to focus.

A B C D OF LOVE

A guide to dating terminology


Confused by dating lingo? Not sure how to define your relationship? Then check out our A-D of love and dating for the words you need to know.



A is for Attraction


What is it: Attraction is the force that draws us to another person. This can be instant, based on appearance and sexual desire, or a longer process developing from a deeper bond. Although nobody knows for sure what attracts us to certain people, scientists have developed various theories about how we pick mates. For instance, it is believed that symmetrical features, waist-to-hip ratio and smell can all make a difference to how attracted (and attractive) we are to others.

B is for Bonding


What is it: A bonding is a close, affectionate relationship and deep bond between two opposite sexes. Often as close as a romantic relationship, People involved in this relationship can start take on couple-like qualities, sharing affectionate nicknames, enjoying weekends away and even going on dates.
C is for Chemistry


What is it: Chemistry is one of the most integral components of dating, yet although it is spoken of often it is hard to define what exactly it is or why we feel it. When people talk of feeling “chemistry” with someone it generally involves feeling a connection with someone, enjoying their company and feeling attracted to them. While some people think chemistry needs to be instant in a relationship, others believe it can develop over time.

D is for Dating


What is it: Dating is when two people spend time together in a bid to get to know each other in a romantic context. While the definition of dating is often confusing, it is generally thought that at this stage of a relationship exclusivity is not essential. For some, a date is just a fun, one-off activity; however, dating is often a way of testing compatibility and exploring the possibility of a relationship.

What I Promise To Stop Saying In Front Of My Kids

Words Mean Something, So Stop Saying You Want To Kill Someone

As a writer, I should know better and as a parent, it is critical: Words are meaningful and when we use violent language to describe our feelings, we contribute to a culture that is numb to the effects of killing.

Since Dec. 14, when a madman entered an elementary school , I've become hyper-aware of the permeation of violence all around me and my kids. Last week, my kid was innocently playing an app on her iPod that involves fairies and magic potions while we drove from one place to another, and she asked me if she could "buy a gun to kill some people" in her game.

I replied maybe a little more vehemently than I intended to and opened up a discussion with her about guns and killing and violence that I probably could have handled with a little more parenting aplomb. I'm here to tell you that talking to your kids about guns and violence is a lot harder than telling them where babies come from.

In other words, if she wants to talk about sex, I'm ready. If she wants to know why she can't pretend to kill a bad fairy with an animated musket, I'm all thumbs.

However, we stumbled through a short conversation about why guns were invented, how responsible people use them and how some guns are meant for just one thing and that's to kill people. Afterward, I spent about an hour berating myself and then I spent another hour researching and thinking about how better to explain to her that I want to create an atmosphere in our home of love and kindness for all, and that means not engaging in violent play.

For me, I realized after some soul-searching, it also means being aware of what I do and say in order to set that example.


I can't keep saying that I want to kill people, or shoot myself or ask anyone else to kill me.

No, I don't really want to kill people. I don't want to kill myself, nor do I want anyone else to kill me. But I say those things all the time, without a thought. If I'm staring down the barrel of a long day, I've been known to quip, "Someone, please kill me."


If I'm in the car and I don't like someone's driving, I have been known to shout, "Ugh, I could kill someone today!"


And so on, and so forth.



My kids have watched shows that include maybe a little too much violence, cartoon or otherwise. I let it slide because hey, we watched Wile E. Coyote die a thousand deaths and we're OK, right?


No, we aren't OK. And no, Wile E. Coyote isn't to blame. But we do exist in a society that is absolutely saturated with violent games, language, movies, TV shows, books... the list goes on and on.


Yes, violence exists in the real world. Yes, violence has a place in literature and film. Yes, we have to cope with violence because it is in our nature to commit these acts against one another.


However, I will do my best to no longer contribute to the culture of death that circles around my kids. I don't want to kill anyone, ever. I know from personal experience what death looks like up close and personal, and death leaves grief and destruction in its wake for the living for the rest of their lives.



Just as language can lift us up and inspire us, language can debase us, make us less than, words can dehumanize us and we can dehumanize one another when we threaten violence in our everyday slang. As someone who spends her days on the Internet, I say with authority that people are careless with words like "war," "kill," "throat-punch," and so much more.


I'm not going to say I want to kill you anymore. I hope you don't want to kill me for saying that.

The health benefits of being in love

Why being in love is good for you

Boxes of chocolates, lavish meals out and those late night fights; there certainly is an unhealthy side to love, but finding that special someone can bring all kinds of health benefits too.

If you've been considering ditching your partner, or are just feeling a little harassed by love, check out some of these relationship perks which might just remind you that being in love can be good for your health...

Love lowers risk of alcohol abuse

You may be footing a bigger weekly wine bill for all of those cozy nights in, but research has shown that you are less likely to abuse or depend upon alcohol if you are in a relationship. In the study, only four per cent of people who had been in a relationship for between two and four years misused alcohol; whilst only three per cent of those who had been in a relationship for more than five years reported abusing alcohol. However, 12 per cent of the participants who were not in a relationship in their 30’s were described as misusing alcohol and 13.5 per cent of people who had not been in a relationship for more than two years treated alcohol in an unhealthy way.

Love keeps us young

We all know that being in love and making love are two very different scenarios and apparently so does Mother Nature. Being in love is often very trying and can age us; however, research suggests that making love keeps us young. A study conducted by researchers at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland found that those women who have sex four or more times a week look 10 years younger than their actual age. Consultant  says that loving couples not only look after their bodies more, but that they also benefit from the physical and emotional effects of sex. So, next time you reach for your anti-ageing cream, maybe opt for the baby oil instead? 

Love: good for women, bad for men?

When you think of a married man, do you think of the grumpy, beaten-down stereotype? If you do, then don’t worry, apparently there’s some truth behind this well-worn notion. The English Longitudinal Study of Ageing found that women report a higher quality of life when they are in a relationship, but their husbands or partners report having a significantly lower quality of life. However, although it is possible that relationships fulfill the needs of women more than men, compared to single people, those in a relationship are still happier overall. In a separate study 40 per cent of married couples said they were happy, compared to only 25 per cent of single people. 

Love improves our mental health

Love has many physical benefits, but it would seem that men and women who are in a relationship get lots of mental health benefits too. In New Zealand a team at the University of Otago examined 1,000 people. They found that people who had been in a relationship for longer than five years were less likely to be depressed and attempt suicide. Other studies have found similar findings, stating that married people report lower levels of depression and distress. Apparently married men are also half as likely to commit suicide as single men, and one third as likely as divorced men. Perhaps the phrase “you’re driving me crazy” should no longer be used in reference to your partner?

Love heals the heart

Perhaps it’s no coincidence that love is often depicted using a heart shape. A recent study by researchers at the University of Rochester in New York found that those in a happy relationship are three times more likely to survive heart surgery.  The researchers reported that a good marriage can be as beneficial to the heart as quitting smoking, staying at a healthy weight and reducing high blood pressure. Similar findings were found by those at the University of North Carolina and a study in Human Communication Research.  They both found that being in love and expressing your emotions had a positive impact on cholesterol.

Love gives us more birthdays

Sadly, being in love does not mean you get to have more than one birthday a year. However, it does mean that you get to see more of them. The mortality rates for single males aged between 30 and 59 are two and half times higher than their non-single counterparts! Don’t gloat too much though girls. Single women also face a 23 percent higher mortality rate than those who are married. Researchers suggest that this difference in longevity is due to the fact that most single people have poorer health benefits, a lower income and are socially isolated. Being supported and connected to others is an essential part of keeping healthy.

So What are waiting for go and hunt for your second half...............

Regards//Rajeev

...

How to find the perfect woman

Your guide to finding the one

If you hate having clammy hands, nervous chatter and going home to an empty bed, listen up: this is your guide to finding the perfect woman. We all know that finding love is somewhat tricky,  but remember it is like a game, and there are many tactics you can use that will help you score.

Scare her

Scaring your girl is not on the usual dating to-do list, but if you've still not found the one yet then maybe it’s time you used some alternative methods. Now, we’re not suggesting you do anything sinister, but research has shown that when people experience fear on a date they often misinterpret that feeling as love. Therefore, why not take your girl to a theme park and ride some of the adrenalin-inducing roller coasters? Or go to a zoo and pop into see the spiders, snakes and bats. Although this may not sound like the most romantic of dates, you can take flowers, a picnic and even some champagne. These dates are also great fun because conversation is easy to make and the environment is less formal than a traditional restaurant scenario, which will allow you both to relax.

Out of your league?

At some point, we've either been there or seen it – a beautifully stunning girl is after a guy, and you know they are out of their league. Although it’s tempting to pucker up and go for it, research suggests that reaching for the higher-end beauty queen will only lead to unrequited love. Researchers found that we are attracted to people who share a similar level of beauty to ourselves. If you luckily “catch” one of these stunners, research suggests that once they deal with their self esteem issues you will eventually be ditched. Harsh words from the psychologists. So although we all fantasies about the hot catwalk models, the glamour girls and the Miss Worlds, it would seem that these thoughts should stay just that; a fantasy.

Stare at her

The eyes are very powerful tools when it comes to dating. We've all seen it in the films, that Lady and the Tramp moment when two eyes lock and love is bound to ensue. However, it would seem that for once the films aren't too far removed from reality. A psychologist who studied the dynamics of love. He found that staring into one another’s eyes has an incredibly powerful effect on people’s romantic relationships. He conducted a study where he asked complete strangers to reveal intimate details about their lives to each other. He then asked the pair to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The couples revealed after the study that they felt a strong bond with the other participant – so much so that two even got married.

What women want

It’s the age-old question; what do women want? Admittedly, we don’t have the answer, but we do know that your witty chat-up lines aren't on their list. According to recent studies we decide if we fancy someone within 90 seconds and 4 minutes after we meet them. How we decide whether we fancy each other is based on simple criteria: 55% is through body language, 38% is based on the tone and speed of our voice and only 7% is taken from what we talk about. So if you want to impress women, stand tall, don’t cross your arms or your legs. If you want a long-term girl, then it would seem that women prefer higher toned voices, but if you want a short-term fling then lower your voice to a husky, John Wayne pitch.

Valentine's Day Proposal Do's and Don'ts

Proposing on Valentine's Day can be tricky. On one hand, it is the most romantic day of the year so it can be a good day to pop the question. On the other hand, proposing on a holiday can turn super cheesy if it isn't done properly. Follow this Valentine's Day Proposal Guide from a Proposal Planner and your proposal will be a success.

Do think of a way you can surprise her even though a lot of women expect a proposal on Valentine's Day. Accomplish this by doing something to throw her off. For example, tell her you have a romantic dinner reservation at 7 but instead, right as you are about to leave a huge choir holding candles appears in your front yard and serenades her with your song.

Don't propose at an expected time. Again, throwing her off is important so the last thing you want to do is to propose over dinner or some other obvious time. Do not have a waiter bring your ring out on a tray or anything predictable. The element of surprise is a must, especially on Valentine's Day.

Do think about how she would want to look on the day she gets proposed to. Is she the kind of girl that would be disappointed if she were wearing jeans on the big day? If you know your girlfriend would be mortified to have a photographer take a picture of her with no makeup on, make sure she is dolled up for the big moment.

Don't over-plan. For some reason when men get stressed out, they can overdo things. As a Proposal Planner, I have seen men add too much detail because they just want to make sure it is very special. Keep in mind that you can go overboard. You don't need singers, dancers, limos, helicopters, flowers, picture frames, guitarists, mariachi bands, jugglers, and more. Just a couple "big" surprises are more than enough and even that is not necessary.

Do think about her personality type when deciding on the proposal idea. Ask yourself if she is the kind of girl who would enjoy a public or a private proposal before you start planning things. If your girlfriend hates to be the center of attention, a public proposal would likely mortify her.

Don't propose in a creepy way. You should never propose like this but especially not on the day of love. Examples of creepy proposals are faking your own death or scaring her so she can appreciate your heroism later. Proposals should be pleasant, period.

Do consider documenting the proposal. If your girlfriend is the type that loves to share photos on social media or likes to scrapbook, then she will really appreciate you hiring a photographer to capture the moment. If she is camera shy, you might want to skip it.

Don't hide the ring in a ridiculous place. This includes but is not limited to; in a champagne glass, in a cupcake, in a box of chocolates and last but not least, somewhere you can lose it or easily forget about it.

Do have help. Just as women hire Day of Coordinators for their wedding day, have someone that will help you take care of details so that you can enjoy your day stress-free. Consider hiring a proposal planner or just enlist the help of an organized friend.

Don't be afraid to be emotional. There is a social stigma that men are not supposed to cry but during a proposal, many men do. Don't worry about that. On your proposal day, you should be emotional and you should be telling your girlfriend all of the reasons that you can't live without her. Your emotion will make it even more endearing.

Do laugh if something goes wrong. If something unexpected happens like a dog comes up and takes a bite out of your romantic picnic, don't sweat it. It will all be part of the proposal story you tell later and it adds character to the event.

Don't have expectations for how she will react. I have seen so many reactions from women who get proposed to. Some laugh, some cry, some scream, we even have had girls curse! You never know what someone's reaction will be when they are in shock so don't feel let down if you don't get a reaction you thought you would. Just go with the flow and let her emotion come naturally.

I am sure you will make it possible

Happy Valentine day and remember do not let this moment go by........

Best Wishes//Rajeev

How To Tell Someone That You Love Them

Different approaches to saying “I love you”

Want to tell that special someone how much you really like them? Everyone has their own ideas on the ‘perfect’ way to make the confession, but you’re sure to find a technique that suits you in this list of seven ways to tell someone you love them.

How to express your love, the thing you need to do is Add a little humor

The words “I love you” can be spruced up with all sorts of poetic techniques that don’t sound like they've come straight from one of Shakespeare’s classics. Why not add a light sprinkling of humor to your love confession through a creative analogy? Think of something you couldn't live without and compare the one you love to that. You can make your analogy as silly or as serious as you like and your other half will appreciate the amount of thought you've put into your confession. “You are the cream to my coffee, the lamb to my farm, and I love you to little bits” – aww!

Creative photography

Dropping the ‘L bomb’ can be equally as nerve wracking whether you’re a hopeless romantic or you have a heart of stone. Sometimes the mere mention of the word “love”, when you've never said it to this person before, can make you nervous. If this sounds like you, saying it through photography may be the form of expression you’re comfortable with, and it needn't be as cheesy as it sounds. Take a photo of yourself doing something silly; a photo of your other half’s favorite sweets in the shape of a heart; and a photo of your partner too (it doesn't have to be snaps of these exact things – they’re just ideas.) Attach your photos together with some ribbon or string and voila; [insert name] hearts [insert name]. You didn't even need to say ‘the L word’ and your other half gets the picture (literally) and has a little keepsake to treasure – you are one creative soul.

Write it in the sand

To make your expression of love memorable, why not pay a visit to the seaside for a date? You can write a love message in the sand when your loved one isn't looking and when they turn around they’ll be in for a surprise. If it all goes wrong, tell them someone else wrote it and run for the hills. If it goes to plan –please say it goes to plan – take a photograph of it afterwards so you can frame it and remember the moment for years to come.

A slushy candlelit dinner

Confessions of love don’t have to be shouted from the rooftops to be effective. Cooking a romantic candlelit dinner for your loved one’s return from work gets the message across too. If you choose to go down the same route as Sex and the City’s Samantha during her infamous sushi moment, make sure you keep your telephone handy just in case your other half doesn't turn up. If your culinary skills aren't up to scratch, spelling it out in alphabet spaghetti is equally as creative.

 Think like a teenager

Phrases could do wonders (followed by a watery-eyed gaze and a scattering of rose petals) are great, but they've been done before. If you want to get all cute and cheesy about your confession, revert your brain back to your school years. Write a high school style love note saying “I love you. Do you love me?” followed by three check boxes titled ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘maybe’, then wait in anticipation for the reply.

Are You a "We" Couple Or "Me" Couple

We all know that when a team plays they do win the game. It is all because all the players have their comfort and are cohesiveness with other teammates,which led them to win the game. On the other hand, if they do argue on small-2 things, the team spirit gets hampered and they do end-up losing the match or the game. And same goes here for the relationship between couples. It doesn't matter whether it is two or twelve.

I've noticed a similar dynamic in relationships, one I call the "me" couple vs. the "we" couple.  the "me" couple operates as two distinct people who happen to be in a relationship. This can be true of a couple who got together last week or one who's been together for fifty years.  It's the attitude. The "me" couple are not really partners. They may love each other; they may be happy enough,  but they don't operate as effectively in love and can not be called as "we" couple.


The "we" couples are unquestionably a team. You see it in their body language and especially in their speech. And when they have successes or problems they view it as something happening to both of them.
A study showed that couples who use pronouns like "we," "our" and "us" showed less stress and were more positive toward each other. Those found to be less satisfied in their marriages used pronouns like "me," "I" and "you." Happy couples often speak in a "we."  As in, "we had a nice time at the party" and "we had a major plumbing problem at the house last week." 
The idea is that unconsciously they have formed a sense of being a part of a team and life is happening to both of them.  These couples will fight, they may even not fight nicely. They have no fewer problems than anyone else but the way they cope is better.  Rather than waste energy blaming each other they see a problem as something they both need to solve. So they divide tasks, brainstorm, resolve and move forward.  Life is better when the blame is minimized and the challenge (whatever it may be) is addressed by both people.
The "we" couples take themselves less seriously.  They don't imagine they can be perfect and are unsurprised when things don't go swimmingly.  Rather than a "here we go again, the universe hates me," when the car is stolen, a "we" couple will quickly bemoan the fact that this happened to "us" and move on.  Of course cars get stolen, it happens every day.  He files the police report, she arranges a rental. They go to office on time and the flow of life continues. 

"Me" couples blame each other (I told you we shouldn't have parked here. Why did you open an account in a bank here? It's a crummy neighborhood). They storm off, they don't resolve the issue quickly, they don't get to work and they have more problems as the newest spiral downward commences.

Becoming a "we" couple can be as simple as starting to use the word more.  Think of things that brought you together and keep you together.  Is it being parents, charitable work, common hobbies, a love for sports or the environment? These things may be simple or profound.  The next time you're together, talk about the "we" things in conversation. Reminisce about them. When problems come up, resist the urge to blame, take a deep breath and try to move immediately to problem solving. This movement and restraint is the work of change. It's worthwhile to make the effort.

Also, be kind to each other and think of your significant other as a partner. Ask for their opinion and their input so that decisions begin to be made together in an atmosphere that doesn't blame and judge.  Judgment causes the team to argue and worse, the partners even stop suggesting ideas for fear that anything they say can and will be used against them. Build an atmosphere of cooperation by understanding each other and inviting your partner's thoughts.

Finally, avoid "me" couples for a while. Be aware that other people's expressions and attitudes can influence even the best relationships. For a while, insulate yourselves while you're building up your "we" approach. It's a quick turn around and a minimum of effort to put in for very worthwhile benefits.

Signs A Girl Likes You

For many guys, being able to tell for sure if a girl likes them or not is a challenge in and of itself. For basically any man, it is extremely frustrating to invest a good deal of time and energy into pursuing a girl, only to find out that she really did not like him! To avoid this big waste of time, the following will teach you what to look for to tell if a girl really likes you.

Provocative Signals

Provocative signals can be a great help to tell if a girl likes you since they are quite distinct and memorable ways of behaving. For argument’s sake, suppose that a girl raises her arms either behind or above her head as she is utilizing her hands to check the back of her hair. This pose will show off the vulnerable neck section of the girl, as well as her underarms. Moreover, it raises her bust and creates a curvature in her spine.

If she takes up this pose while looking right at you, this can be taken to mean that she likes you and that she is inviting you in. Lastly, if she has a closed-lip smile as she is staring in your direction, then you can be reasonably certain that she wants to have a conversation with you.

Hair Signals

Even something as elementary as playing with her hair can be a signal that she likes you. This is especially true if she does this while in your presence because this means that she is fixing up her appearance just for you. Girls do not just play with their hair in one way: There are various ways in which girls play with their hair to show an interest in guys. The different ways are smoothing down hair, tossing hair, twiddling hair, flipping hair and tucking it behind her ears to show more of her face.

Tactile Signals

Tactile signaling is a way how to tell a woman if she likes you. These signals present themselves in a circumstance when a girl really likes you. These types of signals are unique because they are defined by some auto-erotic touches. You may notice how she will touch herself in one or more of these specific ways:

Stroking the neck: This provides her with an instant breast lift, yet it also displays her armpit, the source of pheromone attraction chemicals.

Preening: This is the triad of her licking her lips, arranging her cleavage and fluffing her hair is done to make herself look good for you. Using her fingers: If she is employing her fingers to carefully brush against her lips or cleavage or even toy with a straw or a glass as she looks at you, then it is a safe bet that she likes you. Smoothing hands: When she is smoothing her hands on her neck and arms, she is being a tease. This signals that she wishes to make you jealous of the reality that your hands are not yet sliding over her. Playful punching: When you tease her, she laughs and punches you on your shoulder. Okay with being touched: She is alright with you touching her and invading her personal space.
If you notice any of these signs, it may be that she is into you!

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How to compliment a girl: What Girls Always Notice on a Date!:

What Girls Always Notice on a Date!

Girls and guys have completely different priorities when it comes to dating each other and noticing what really matters on a date. Here are six things that girls always notice on a date!

Do you want to impress a girl on the very first date? If you really know what girls always notice on a date, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to impress that pretty lass within the first few minutes.

And you know what they say, first impressions are everything when you’re trying to have a great date!

Unlike men, who don’t notice a great deal too much, women are a lot sharper on a date.

They put in a lot of effort, and they expect their date to look spruced up and primped for them. So what are the things that girls notice on a date? Men, you might just be surprised.

What girls always notice on a date #1 CLEANLINESS

You definitely need to be clean. Women like guys who can groom themselves. Even if you sport a stubble, it should look like every strand of hair exists to accentuate your face.

Clean hands and nails, crisp clothes, and a fresh face. And no bad breath or body odor. No girl would ever like that! Maybe a few kinky ones, but definitely not on a date. In a restaurant.

What girls always notice on a date #2 LABELS!

Girls love labels and fancy brands. It’s a sign anyways, isn't it? If you can pamper yourself, you definitely can pamper her.

Go figure about big brands. Some labels may be expensive, but they don’t necessarily turn out to be the best. But the biggest names don’t come cheap. They do charge over fifty grand a suit and still makes just fifty suits a year, but that’s never ever going to look bad on you, would it?

And it’s never going to hurt. Maybe just your Louis Vuitton wallet. A wee bit, you big, rich boy!

Girls want a guy who knows how to keep his woman happy. So are a smooth talker? Do you stutter and splutter and run out of things to say, half way through dinner and resort to “so you say something… no, no, you say…” to cover the fact that you have nothing to talk about? That’s not good. A woman wants to be with someone who knows to talk, and talk well. Yup, back when you were in tenth grade, backstreet boys were hot stuff!

What girls always notice on a date #4 HOW FAR CAN YOU GO?

How far can you go for your date? What can you do to pamper her? Flowers and sparkling wine are great starters. But can you call back your waiter and ask him for more flowers on your table? Or perhaps, a white candle? Anything else? A woman wants to test how far a man would be willing to go for her. Of course, subconsciously.

So pamper her. She can’t make up her mind about which dessert to pick, order three of them. Try it. It definitely works. Tell her to take a bite off all of them. She can have what she wants, and the waiter can take back the rest. If you have to be her king, treat her like the queen she deserves to be. But never be pompous, and don’t forget to be a brat boy now and then.

What girls always notice on a date #5 YOUR ATTIRE

Brands are one thing, but women definitely notice the way you dress. A Gucci shirt looks good, but untucked and crumpled on a formal date? Don’t think so. Dress for the occasion. Be pleasing to her eyes, and don’t ever go overboard. A clean shirt or a suit is the best thing to wear when you’re out at a great date restaurant in the middle of paradise. And yeah, do take her to a great place.

What girls always notice on a date #6 Ogling other women

You may have done all of the above things to impress your date, but this one wrong move can be a killer! There’s nothing more insulting for a woman than to see her man staring at other woman or craning his neck to ogle at other women now and then. When you’re out on a date, remember, all eyes on your date. You can ogle at all the beautiful women and staring at girl's breast or her never ending legs when you’re with the guys. On a date, just focus on your date, if you do want to impress her.

Things Men Should Never Do On First Date

   

We all want our first dates to be perfect. But do you really how to impress a girl on a date without overdoing it? Here are 8 tips for first dates that every man should know to have a successful first date.

When you hook up on a first date with a gorgeous girl, it is understandable that you want to go all out and please her, maybe by showing her that you’re manly and in command, or by behaving like a doormat.

But there may be a few things that could be overdone and you might just blow any opportunity of getting to the next date.

The Hug gable Understanding Guy tells you where to draw the line between doing the right things, and overdoing them. Here are some tips for first dates that can help you make the difference.

Tips for first dates #1 ARE YOU IN CONTROL?

It’s important to be in control and make those tough decisions, like calling the waiter, deciding where to go, etc. when you’re with your date.

It’s not easy when you get all groggy and drool while staring at this beautiful woman beside you.

But there may be times when your behavior borders rudeness and arrogance. Swearing, snapping your fingers to call waiters and bad behavior is just unacceptable. So if you want to hold on to the hope of getting a second date, then learn to be courteous and gentle, not just with her, but with everyone around.

Tips for first dates#2 TRYING TOO HARD

You may have waited since you were in first grade before the both of you got together for this date. You may have marked this moment in your secret diary and stored it as one of the best moments of your life. But you know what? She doesn't have to know that!

She’s still contemplating and figuring if she’s having a good date. Don’t ruin the moment by droning on about how happy you are.

She knows that you’re happy, but don’t blow it all out, all through the date. Make her wonder if you’re having a great time. Don’t give in to the chase even before it begins!

Tips for first dates#3 DON’T SHOW OFF YOUR INDEPENDENCE

You love hanging out with your guy friends, and every Friday in your calendar might be allotted for hanging out with the boys. But saying that out aloud on your first date could actually turn out bad for you.

You might think that it shows your independence and confidence, and that you also respect her space and are not going to be with her all the times like clingy boyfriends, but it actually works otherwise. She might think that your life is just too rigid.

Or worse, it may seem like you’re trying to set boundary rules even before both of you get steady. It’s almost like you’re already imposing a rule on her. What did you think, that she would like it?!

How to Get Over Trust Issues in Your Relationship

Trusting each other plays a big part in a happy relationship. Learn how you can get over any trust issues in your relationship using these steps.

Love is pretty predictable to start with, isn't it?

There are just two paths you can take when you enter a romantic relationship and get past the infatuation stage.You can stay happy.

Or you can find yourself frustrated and heartbroken

Luckily though, it only takes a few months for your mind to realize which path you’re taking in love, the good or the bad one. And even if you’re frustrated with your current love life, it doesn't necessarily have to mean it’s the end of the relationship.

It just means you and your lover have issues to deal with.

Trust and other issues in a relationship

For most of us, even when we do realize that we’re not in a perfect relationship, we do nothing to fix it as the months pass by.We don’t get out of it, nor do we try to communicate and change it for the better. And then, we whine about how unfair love is to us.

But if you think about it, the direction of your relationship is in your own hands.

Every time you find yourself in the wrong path, you can steer yourself towards the right direction through better understanding, or you can let go of the wheel and find a new romance.

Trust and finding faults in love

When you find yourself unhappy in a relationship, it’s not always your own fault. You need to remember that. A relationship involves you and your partner. So if one of you isn't happy, both of you need to work together to fix the relationship.

Trust is the foundation of a perfect relationship. When both of you trust each other completely and understand each other, it prevents insecurities and frustrations from ever cropping up.

If you’re hurt in love, it’s your lover’s responsibility to reassure you and help you feel better about the relationship. Well, that’s if your lover cares enough to see you happy. And likewise, it’s your responsibility to help your lover understand you and trust you when they feel threatened.

Even in a happy relationship that’s stood the test of time for several years, trust issues could crop up out of nowhere, especially when an attractive new friend or secrecy enters the romance.

Trust and the threshold of change in love

All of us have a threshold of change in a relationship. And it depends completely on how much we want the relationship to succeed.

When two people enter a new relationship, the two individuals have to create a new identity, and both of them have to be flexible and willing to compromise to fit into each other’s lives perfectly. But the extent to which one lover compromises for the other depends on how much they desire the other person. The less your lover compromises for you, the more you’d doubt their love for you.

The more your doubts, the more insecure you’d feel in the relationship. And the more insecure you feel, the more you’d doubt your lover. It’s a vicious circle that’ll leave both of you hurt, bitter and angry. 

Insecurity and trust issues

You may love your partner a lot, but if you don’t trust them, you can never truly feel secure in the relationship. You’d always be wary about everything they do, and you’d always doubt their love for you.

Trust issues in a relationship can lead to depressions and intense frustrations. And the more frustrated you get, the harder you’d try to cling on to your partner in the fear of losing them completely, which can make you a clingy and controlling lover *and there’s nothing worse than that*.

10 reasons why you have trust issues in your relationship

There are many reasons why you may doubt your partner or have trust issues, but they usually fall under these 10 reasons.

#1 You think your partner lies to you very often.

#2 You think your partner lacks integrity. They've cheated on someone in an earlier relationship / You've cheated on someone and *knowing how easy it is to cheat* you assume your partner may be cheating behind your back too.

#3 You don’t know much about your partner’s life and what they do when you aren't around.

#4 You don’t know your lover’s friends and their inside jokes which makes you feel insecure when they’re around.

#5 Your partner is secretive. *locks their phone or deletes their messages often*

#6 You feel threatened by your lover’s friendship with someone you don’t know well. 

#7 You've had bad experiences in love where an old lover has betrayed your trust.

#8 Your partner just doesn't share details about their life with you as much as you share yours with them.

#9 Your partner gets furious when you intrude into their private space without their permission.

#10 Your lover flirts with others.

If you’re in a happy relationship that’s built on trust, these 10 reasons for trust issues may seem trivial. But if you’re insecure, even the smallest of these reasons could send you sulking to the corner of the room.

Speak to your partner about it

Don’t be ashamed to let your partner see your weak side. Relationships are built on trust, and it’s important for your partner to know exactly how you feel. If something bothers you, don’t hide it even if it seems trivial or embarrassing.

How to help your partner overcome their trust issues

Does your partner have trust issues in the relationship? If you’re having a hard time convincing your lover that you’re faithful and have no intentions of cheating on them, here are six ways to help that special someone in your life overcome their trust issues. 

#1 Open up to your lover. Your partner may feel insecure in the relationship if they believe you don’t communicate well with them. If your lover asks you about something, don’t give abrupt answers or one-liners. Instead, communicate and have a conversation.

#2 Talk about your daily lives. Talk about your day, the little things you did and the people you interacted with. When your partner feels like they know what you've been up to when they weren't around, it’ll help them feel more secure in love.

#3 Introduce your friends. Introduce your lover to your friends, especially the ones your partner feels threatened about. Let your lover bond with them so they feel like a part of your circle of friends. As long as your partner feels involved in your group of friends, they’ll feel less threatened by the attractive and touchy feely ones.

#4 Show them you care. Shower your lover with compliments and reassuring words. Remind them just how much you love them and need them. Sometimes, your partner may feel insecure when they don’t hear those loving words often.

#5 Talk about your secrets. Revealing a few secrets can instantly bring two people close. It happens all the time, between friends and definitely between lovers too. When your lover feels like they know more secrets about you than anyone else, they’d feel more special and reassured.

#6 Don’t be aloof. Don’t get angry or annoyed when your lover unnecessarily craves for your attention. Your lover is frightened you’ll leave them. Think from their perspective, and if you truly care about keeping your lover happy, help them through this difficult period.

How to get over your own trust issues

Do you find yourself frustrated and annoyed because you believe your partner’s too distant or doesn't communicate enough with you? Talk to your lover and help them see the issues through your eyes. And once you've done that, use these five steps.

#1 Try to think from your partner’s perspective. What would you do if you were in their place? Be truthful to yourself and think rationally instead of judging them in haste.

#2 Ask your partner to help you. Be truthful about how you feel instead of retaliating with frustration or by giving your lover the silent treatment.

#3 Speak out. Every evening, calmly tell your partner about every instance that day when you felt threatened or insecure. It’ll help your lover understand what upsets you, and at the same time, they can explain themselves to you too.

#4 Don’t repeat your lessons. If it bothers you that your lover is holding a friend’s hand while talking, talk to your partner about it. Tell them how you felt and ask them how they’d feel if you did the same thing.

If your partner helps you see their perspective and you get satisfied with their answer, that should be the end of the issue. The next time the same issue crops up, you should be able to deal with the issue yourself without asking your partner for an explanation all over again.

#5 Learn to reason with yourself. If you've followed these steps, and you’re still having a hard time getting over your trust issues, you really have some thinking to do. Is your partner trying hard enough to help you get over your insecurities? Or are you just not able to deal with your partner’s active social life even after they constantly reassure you? Or finally, are you in a relationship where you just can’t deal with the insecurities anymore? 

Be patient and work together

Irrespective of who’s having trust issues, you or your partner, you need to know that it can’t be flattened out overnight. It takes time, sometimes a week or two, and sometimes even a few months.

Building trust back into a relationship takes a lot longer than the time it took to lose the trust.

But if your partner is just not able to overcome their trust issues no matter how giving you are or how willing you are to bend over backwards or spill out your entire life to them, perhaps it’s time to seek help from a friend or a professional, or walk away for good.

Almost always, a partner with serious trust issues could start off meek and sad, but turn into a demanding lover who orders you around all the time. Most controlling lovers start off by showing signs of insecurity, and no matter how much you give them, they’d always want more from you.

Use these steps to help your partner get better, but if you feel like this isn't worth the effort, perhaps, your own happiness may be more important to you than the success of the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that though, it only helps you realize what’s more important to you.

Trust issues and the jigsaw puzzle of love

Not all relationships are built the same way. Some perfectly happy lovers are addicted to each other, while other perfectly happy lovers like keeping some space in between. Some lovers are monogamous, while others are swingers or live in open relationships.

All of us are unique and have our own wants from a relationship. But that doesn't mean one relationship is better than the other. There is no perfect recipe for love. It’s as unique as the individuals in it.

So if you've used all these steps on how to get over trust issues in a relationship and still have a hard time getting over your insecurities, perhaps, the relationship you’re in isn't the right one for you. You and your lover may be perfect individuals, but as a couple, both of you may not be the best fit in the jigsaw puzzle.

Sometimes, even two perfect individuals can’t create a perfect relationship no matter how hard they try.